From the outside, Kitty Menendez was a glamorous housewife and devoted mother to her children, Lyle and Erik. But the reality was much darker – including a broken marriage, drug abuse and the growing bitterness of her sons. These factors contributed to Kitty’s early death and one of the most shocking crimes in recent history.
On August 20, 1989, the Menendez brothers killed their parents in their California home. The brutal shooting sparked a high-profile investigation and trials that shed light on the family’s dark secrets.
Now Lyle and Erik’s deadly deeds are the subject of the new Netflix miniseries Monster: The Story of Lyle and Erik MenendezThe anthology series, whose first season in 2022 focused on serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, stars Chloë Sevigny as family matriarch Kitty, Nicholas Alexander Chavez and Cooper Koch as the two brothers, and Javier Bardem as their father José Menendez. Monster starts streaming on Thursday.
Much has been documented about Lyle, Erik and José, but who was Kitty? Here’s everything you need to know about her role in the Menendez family and her role in the brothers’ horrifying crime.
Kitty had a turbulent childhood
Kitty was born Mary Louise Andersen in 1941 to Charles and Mae Andersen. The youngest of four children, she grew up in the middle class in Oak Lawn, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. But her life was anything but idyllic.
According to criminal investigator and author Rachel Pergament, Charles, who owned a heating and air conditioning business, abused Mae and her children. The couple eventually divorced when Kitty was a child, causing her to become depressed and withdrawn. She had difficulty making friends and harbored resentment toward her father for years.
However, these traumatic circumstances did not stop Mary Louise, who was later nicknamed “Kitty,” from having big dreams. She wanted to become an actress and enrolled at Southern Illinois University to study communications.
“She was breathtakingly beautiful, and I mean she was beautiful on the outside and even more beautiful on the inside,” her brother Brian Andersen told ABC’s 20/20In 1962, Kitty won the Miss Oak Lawn beauty pageant. By this time, her good looks had already caught the attention of a young Cuban immigrant named José Menendez.
Kitty married Jose Menendez in 1963
Accordingly The Los Angeles TimesKitty was in college when she met Menendez, a swimmer on scholarship at Southern Illinois University. Kitty, two years older, had an instant crush on José, who had emigrated to America at age 16 to escape Fidel Castro’s regime. “Suddenly she was run over by a bulldozer,” said her roommate at the time, Jo McCord.
Other friends described Kitty as glamorous but somewhat mysterious about her past and “a bit of a rebel” at the time. Although Jose’s family objected, believing him to be too young, the couple married in 1963, when he was only 19. They soon moved to New York City, where Jose transferred to Queens College.
Kitty initially worked as a teacher. But after the birth of her two sons – Lyle in January 1968 and Erik in November 1970 – Kitty gave up her own ambitions and, at José’s urging, became a full-time housewife. The family eventually settled near Princeton, New Jersey, where the brothers attended the private Princeton Day School.
According to her brother, Kitty often spoiled Lyle and Erik while José, a businessman, worked long hours and traveled. “I always told Kitty, ‘You know, there has to be discipline somewhere in her life,'” Brian Andersen said. “And of course, she immediately responded, ‘Brian, don’t tell me how to raise my boys.'”
José’s infidelity shocked Kitty
Although José’s career enabled the family to enjoy a wealthy lifestyle, problems in the marriage and in Kitty’s personal life emerged.
It’s clear that their relationship caused tension within the family, but the murders of José and Kitty – and the subsequent trials of Lyle and Erik – brought to light even more disturbing allegations about their behavior.
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Lyle claimed that Kitty had abused the brothers
Lyle and Erik were arrested for the murder of their parents in March 1990 and charged with first-degree murder in December 1992. In their separate trials, they argued that they killed their parents in self-defense after years of sexual abuse, primarily by José, but also by Kitty.
During his testimony on September 13, 1993, Lyle claimed that from the time he was 11 until he was 13, Kitty invited him to bed and asked him to touch her “everywhere.” He also testified that she frequently appeared before him fully or partially naked in her home.
The older brother also accused Kitty of physical and psychological abuse, saying she kicked him and dragged him into his room by his hair. He claimed she punished him by throwing his most valuable possessions, including stuffed animals, out the window.
The brothers’ first trials ended in a failed jury agreement. At their joint retrial in 1995, a judge quickly ruled that the defense had not presented enough evidence of Jose’s alleged abuse – key to their claim that the killing was in self-defense. A jury ultimately found Lyle and Erik guilty on March 21, 1996.
Although there was no physical evidence of Kitty’s abuse, a cousin of Erik and Lyle said that Lyle, then 8 years old, told her about José’s abuse in 1976. Diane Vander Molen told ABC News She talked to Kitty about the confession. “I could tell from her demeanor that she didn’t believe any of it,” Vander Molen said. “And (she) went downstairs, and Lyle had already climbed into the bed next to mine, and she went ahead and grabbed his arm and brought him back upstairs, and I never heard anything about it again.”
Netflix and Sevigny have both hinted Monster will investigate the brothers’ abuse allegations, although it is unclear to what extent.
Sevigny wanted to “give dignity” to Kitty
A memorial service for Kitty and José Menendez was held in Los Angeles on August 25, 1989. She is buried next to her husband in Princeton Cemetery in New Jersey.
Kitty’s story has been told in several dramatic adaptations of the murders, most famously by Beverly D’Angelo in the television movie Menendez: A Murder in Beverly Hills and Courtney Love in 2017 Menendez: Blood Brothers.
What MonsterSevigny has hinted that the series will explore the complexities of Kitty’s marriage to José and the “cycle of abuse” that shaped her life.
“I want to give her dignity despite her flaws and try to empathize with her feelings about the things she complains about throughout the show,” Sevigny said. Harper’s Bazaar in March 2024. “(She talks about) the children taking away the love of her life and taking away her body, her career, her ambitions. I talk to a lot of women for whom this can be a challenge once they become mothers.”
Tyler Piccotti initially joined the Biography.com was hired as Associate News Editor in February 2023 and before that spent nearly eight years as a newspaper reporter and editor. He is a graduate of Syracuse University. When he’s not writing and researching his next story, you can find him at the nearest amusement park, watching the latest movie, or cheering on his favorite sports teams.
