“You’re not a pet so tell him to stop treating you like one,” wrote one commenter.
Updated August 12, 2024, 5:36 p.m. ET
If you have long hair, you know what it’s like: You often find strands all over the house and have to regularly clean your bathtub drain. But that’s the price of long locks, and for most people, it’s really not that big of a deal.
…except when it Is a big deal.
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In a Mumsnet In the user’s case, it was a big deal especially for her boyfriend.
He even asked her to change her hairstyle in the hope that he would then find fewer loose strands of hair throughout his apartment.
Here is the woman’s story.
The survey results show that there is no reason for the woman to be angry about her boyfriend’s demands.
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This woman’s boyfriend wants her to always wear a ponytail when she comes to his place.
In a post in the forum “Am I unreasonable?” on Mumsneta user named Hairry (hah!) wanted to know if it was unreasonable for her to be upset about her boyfriend’s hair request.
Hairry says she has thick, jet-black hair thanks to her Indian grandmother and that people have often complimented her on her beautiful locks. She says she’s currently wearing it long (just above her waist) because she has some events coming up and wants to feel glamorous.
She is also in a “fairly new relationship.” They are both in their late 20s and are starting to spend more and more sleepovers. And one day her boyfriend – who likes to play with her hair – brought up a surprising topic.
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Her boyfriend said that he “finds hair everywhere.” He then asked her if she could put her hair in a ponytail while she was with him. This annoyed Hairry a little, because that’s what happens when you have long dark hair. In fact, she says she goes to extra lengths to make sure she doesn’t leave any strands of hair behind.
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“I make sure to unclog the drain and tie my hair back when cooking. But other than wearing a hair net, there is no way to stop strands of hair from flying around. It just annoys me that he happily plays with my hair and ‘enjoys’ it in one context, but doesn’t like the reality,” she wrote.
“Is this a warning sign? Because I’m really upset. My dad and my brothers had to deal with this when I was growing up with my sisters who have similar hair,” she added.
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Many people are Team Girlfriend in this case.
“Yep, red flag and weirdly controlling,” wrote one commenter under Hairry’s post. “Throw this back in the ocean.”
“Hahahhaa, has he never had a girlfriend? Every woman with medium length hair loses hair everywhere, not just someone with your hair,” said another. “Every boyfriend I’ve ever had has joked about it, never been upset about it, it’s a fact of life. I wouldn’t put my hair up for him.”
Nevertheless, there are many people who feel compassion for the friend.
“I think this is fine if he politely asked and accepts it when you say no,” wrote another. “But not if he insists.”
“Oh God, I feel his pain,” wrote another person. “Whenever my friend’s daughter comes to visit, her hair everywhere. I even found a strand of hair stuck to the air fryer after she put a sausage roll in it! I don’t see any reason why he would ask you to tie your hair up when you have so much hair.”
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Some people pointed out that wearing a ponytail does not prevent hair loss.
“In my experience, it makes no difference whether I tie my hair up or not,” one person noted. “If anything, I lose more hair when I tie it up because a tight ponytail makes the hair more prone to breakage.”
“If it were me, I’d say, ‘Look, I understand it’s annoying, but long hair sheds its hair – that’s just the way it is. Up or down, it sheds its hair. If you don’t like it, we can just hang out at my place, otherwise I’m sorry, but it’s a part of me and it’s not something I can change.'”
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There was even someone who thought this could be a sign of fraud.
“Hmm. My first thought was that he doesn’t want another girlfriend to find your hair,” wrote one commenter, “but I think I’m exaggerating because your hair always falls out whether you tie it up or not. If he’s serious, I’m not sure what the problem is. Can’t he vacuum?”
And there were some compromise proposals.
“As a compromise, could you maybe braid it when his apartment is freshly cleaned and tidy (that will prevent hair from landing on surfaces better than a ponytail)? And then wear it down at other times? That’s a compromise,” one person wrote.
“I think it’s probably OK to require it to be tied up in the kitchen or during food prep to minimize hair contamination of food, but for everyone else it’s a bit weird,” another commented.
What do you think? Who is right here?
