Who actually decides which songs you slurp your soup to?

Many factors contribute to a truly wonderful dining experience. The food and service, of course. The decor and ambience too. One aspect that is often overlooked, however, is the music in the background. Music is such a personal choice that it’s hard to find something that everyone can agree on. However, a restaurant without background music seems a little dull and lifeless.

There’s a fine line between music that blends seamlessly into the atmosphere of the restaurant and music that shoots daggers from the speakers straight into your eardrums. It’s someone’s decision what gets played, and very often that someone isn’t even there.

Related: The ultimate kitchen playlist from our favorite chefs

Who decides what music is played in a restaurant?

I worked at a corporate restaurant where we listened to the music on a stereo and had no control over it. It was a three-hour playlist and we all grew to hate every song on it. When the holidays came around, the playlist was shortened to an hour and to this day I can’t listen to “Jingle Bell Rock” without wanting to pull my hair out. If a guest complained about the music, all we could do was adjust the volume.

Her other option was to play something on the jukebox that overrode the automatic playlist. This resulted in further risk to my hair as Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You” played relentlessly. Sometimes, when I was annoyed by customers and/or coworkers, I would play “You’re The One That I Want” by Fat because it always put me in a good mood. I once played it five times in a row, so I’m sure someone else’s hair was in danger when that switch was made.

Sometimes the music in a restaurant just doesn’t fit the general atmosphere. Recently I had lunch in a sports pub that blared hip hop music the whole time. I have nothing against hip hop, but it did seem odd that music that was surely rated for explicit content was chosen that day. It seemed so specific, like a musical was being played. Not everyone will like that.

Related: Chef Alexander Smalls’ Dinner Party Playlist

What music is right for a restaurant?

This was probably a case of someone from the staff having full control over the music selection. Kudos to them, but you want to find music that most people want to hear, or at least don’t hate. When I worked at a small restaurant in Queens, the clientele was mostly my age, so I often played ’80s new wave hits and that went very well. I mean, who doesn’t want to eat a burger while listening to ‘Til Tuesday and Kate Bush?

That’s not to say that every restaurant should only play elevator music. There are plenty of types of music that can be played in the background without being offensive or agitating. It just has to be white noise that fills the void of silence during pauses in conversation. Then you end up with Pink Martini, Top 40, jazz standards, and the Great American Song Book. Most people can tolerate Ella Fitzgerald warbling “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” at a moderate volume, but if Five Finger Death Punch is wailing “Mother May I,” that might be a different story. It also depends on the restaurant. The Hard Rock Cafe can really benefit from loud music, while a quiet neighborhood bistro can do just fine with subdued classical music.

Related: Studies show that music affects the taste of wine

Can the waiter change the music?

Customers should know that their server probably has little to no control over what comes out of the speakers. Much like thermostat settings, this is someone else’s responsibility. If you don’t like the music, don’t blame them, and remember that they have to listen to it too, possibly on a loop.

A good restaurant will find music that enhances the experience rather than detracts from it, but that’s not easy. If it works, it might be so seamless that you don’t even realize how perfect it was. And if it’s bad, it might be because your waiter really likes the soundtrack Fat.

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