For some parents in Forest Park, the start of school is a relief. They are tired of having their children at home all the time. In addition, the children are bored during the long holidays and miss their classmates.
However, the start of a new school year can also be stressful for parents: they have to buy new school supplies and school uniforms and meet new teachers.
And they also feel the great responsibility that comes with educating their children.
One of the sacred truths of the American educational system is that it is vitally important for parents to be involved in their child’s schooling. Imagine my shock when I recently read that parental presence at school has little effect on how quickly their child memorizes the multiplication tables.
According to author Amanda Ripley, in countries where the most intelligent children are born, parents are rarely involved in education. In Finland, for example, parents attend two short interviews with their child’s teacher during the school year. Yet Finnish children lead the world in science and rank second in reading. South Korean parents, who care deeply about their children’s education, rarely visit their children’s schools.
They also don’t help them with their homework. In fact, a study in 13 countries showed that children whose parents helped them with their homework performed worse in reading than children who received no parental help.
American parents, on the other hand, are great at helping their children with their homework. When I got the chance, I “helped” way too much. Fortunately, three of my four children did not want my help. One of them did his homework as soon as he got home from school. He took responsibility for his schoolwork so we didn’t have to.
In addition to helping with homework, Americans are also diligent in their children’s school. Last year, 90% of us attended at least one school assembly. Six in 10 are willing to bake a cake for a fundraiser, pay for middle schoolers to wash their cars, and leave work early to watch their football games.
My wife and I were firm believers in this gospel. I thought it was exaggerated, but we both attended parent-teacher conferences. We also went to their games, concerts, and art fairs. The children appreciated our presence, but it did not improve their grade point average.
So what can be wrong with parental support? Some parents offer help before the child asks for it. They go beyond coaching and “do” something. They become “lecturers” who correct their children’s mistakes. Our goal should not be immediate success in school, but to help them develop life skills for a successful future.
There are countless studies showing that helping Madison with her homework does not help her learn. Some well-meaning parents are so committed to their children that they interfere in teachers’ affairs and undermine the authority of the school.
It has been shown that having parents stay home and read to children is more beneficial to their grades than having them show up at the book fair. Parents who read for their own enjoyment increase their children’s chances of becoming lifelong readers.
Schools and parents are partners in educating children, but they have different roles. If parents model learning at home and leave the three Rs to the professionals, their children have a better chance of academic success.
I know an elementary school teacher who raised five children. With the first three, she put her heart and soul into school and it had no effect on their grades. With the last two, she barely had to worry about school and both graduated from college.
The parents of Forest Park should be commended for helping their children in school, but if we help them too much, they will never be able to catch up with the children of Finland.
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