So let’s talk briefly about school meals.As I have seen all the posts and news over the past few days about children returning to school, I have been reminded of my own elementary school days – and especially the cafeteria – at Sherwood Elementary in Memphis in the early 1960s.

Sorry, but I’m in the minority who always enjoyed school lunches. I was mightily impressed by the large containers of USDA peanut butter and cheese stacked on the kitchen shelves, and I was very pleased with the industrial brown gravy they took from #2 cans for our meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Nowhere since have I found the Bologna Cup: a bologna masterpiece baked until it curled up and then stuffed with a scoop of mashed potatoes and topped with melted cheese. This was a delicacy that I think should still be on most menus.

The green jelly was sometimes a little chewier than you’d hoped, but if you ate it slowly, it would melt enough to be swallowed. One of my favorite things to do was to use a straw to cut little circles out of our boiled carrots, which would gradually fill the straw enough to be slowly squeezed out – an amusing spectacle… The biggest challenge was piercing the truly cryogenic sundaes with the blunt little wooden spoons you were given before the bell rang.

Mr. Hamm was the school’s unfortunate janitor, and was called to the cafeteria almost every day to clean up the mess of a disgusted student. First, he would throw an interesting dark green material onto the spot that smelled very much of chlorophyll. The victim was generally treated to a lot of shouting and ridicule, but not for too long. One day, it seemed, it was my turn: I downed half a carton of milk, only to find that it was sour, and my reaction was automatic and instantaneous. Sorry, Mr. Hamm!

My fourth grade teacher was getting on in years and had little tolerance for nonsense. When Beatlemania hit America, she was not impressed at all, and while we would listen to other classes lip-syncing to “I Want to Hold Your Hand” during recess on rainy days, our class would sit sadly on their desks with their heads bowed. I even had a Beatle wig that my grandfather got from Tigrett Industries in Jackson (where they made them) because he was their driver for the Railway Express Agency before UPS, but it never made it to school.

In fifth grade, I was allowed to help with the safety patrol, holding up flags to help students cross the street at street corners. In sixth grade, I had the privilege of becoming a sound engineer, setting up microphones and projectors for assemblies. As you can see, my grief for the Beatles was almost completely forgotten.

It would be nice to turn back the clock to Beatlemania and Bologna Cups, wouldn’t it? I wish all the school children in Southside Virginia a safe and happy year!

Michael Wilson is a former Spanish professor at Hampden-Sydney University and has lived in Prince Edward County for 13 years, now calling North Carolina home. He can be reached at [email protected].