Ding, ding, ding: Teens receive 240 app notifications per day—a quarter of them during school hours. While there is no universal screen time limit, parents can implement some realistic guidelines.
Photo by Xavier Lorenzo via Getty Images
1. Understand that there is no perfect age for social media.
In 2024, there is no broad consensus among experts about when to introduce your child to the digital world. A mature 13-year-old may have the self-regulation skills to handle it; an impulsive 16-year-old may have trouble switching off. But think about the times: Kids use social media to keep up with homework, stay in touch with friends and stay up to date with current events. “Portraying social media as a monster (is) a misdirection of energy and thought. We need to think about: How do we use these powerful tools to make us better people and lock them away when that’s not our job?” says Rich, the Boston Children’s Hospital adolescent medicine specialist.
2. Measure screen-free time instead of screen-time.
Just as important as setting smartphone limits is how parents set those limits. Rich recommends mandating how much time your child spends away from the screen. “In the days of television, you could say, ‘One to two hours of high-quality, educational screen time a day.’ Today, we move seamlessly between the digital and physical spaces. What we recommend is dedicated screen-free time: That’s something you can measure and do intentionally,” he says.
3. Start small.
Instead of eliminating social media altogether or using bans as punishment, start by identifying worrying scenarios, such as when your child goes straight to the phone in the car without stopping to talk about their day. “That’s a very specific problem, and you’ll accomplish a lot more if you try to address that part first,” explains Ablon, the Mass General adolescent psychologist.
4. Be available for support.
Just like you want your child to tell you about bullying on the soccer field, the same is true for smartphones. Does your child understand when to seek your help, whether they’re witnessing bullying in a group message, receiving a scary direct message, seeing something that looks like fake news, or encountering explicit content? “If parents can’t talk to their kids about pornography, they shouldn’t give them a smartphone,” Rich says. “We need to talk to them explicitly about it. This is an open and ongoing dialogue.”
First published in the print edition of the September 2024 issue as part of our Top Schools 2024 package.
