Hayden Panettiere will “never get over” the death of her brother Jansen Panettiere.
In a new “People” interview, the actress spoke for the first time about the loss of the 28-year-old in February 2023.
“He was my only brother and it was my job to protect him,” she said in Wednesday’s cover story. “When I lost him, it felt like I had lost half my soul.”
Hayden, 35, noted that she will be “forever heartbroken” by her sister’s death.
However, the loss has given her a new perspective. The former “Heroes” actress explained: “When something so huge happens to you, you learn to pick your battles and not let the little things get you down.”
“Because once something so terrible, so deep, so catastrophic happens in your life, there is not much that can really shake you.”
Jansen died of an enlarged heart in his apartment in Nyack, New York.
“Jansen’s heart was seen in his eyes, his charm in his bright, engaging smile; his soul in his masterful and insightful paintings and the joy of life in his dry wit,” his family members wrote in a statement at the time. “(He) … will live forever in our hearts and in the hearts of everyone he met.”
When Michael Strahan expressed his condolences to Hayden in a subsequent “Good Morning America” interview, tears welled up in her eyes and she replied briefly: “He’s here with me.”
The following month, the Nashville alum attended Jansen’s funeral – and the “shock” of being photographed outside the funeral service caused his agoraphobia to flare up again.
“I just bloated,” she recalled in the new People interview. “I didn’t feel confident enough to put something on and get out of the house, but I also knew I had to get out and keep moving or I would never stop looking and feeling that way.”
Hayden explained that she broke out of the “destructive hamster wheel” by seeking help from personal trainer Marnie Alton.
“Marnie gave me strength,” she raved, adding that the “long, beautiful” walks they took together were like “therapy sessions” for her.
“My body just responded, and not just from the workout. I was able to release the stress and the high expectations I always had for myself,” said the Golden Globe nominee. “There’s nothing better than looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door.”
Hayden then revealed rare details about her nine-year-old daughter Kaya, whom she has with ex-fiancé Wladimir Klitschko, and raved about the little one’s love of golf and horses.
