In the premiere of “Golden Bachelorette,” Joan welcomes admirers: Who stays?

A hopeful morning has dawned for the “Golden” franchise, now part of the Bachelor Nation Circle of Life.

First there was Gerry Turner’s senior edition of “The Golden Bachelor,” which beamed with optimism about true love last year before his TV marriage to Theresa Nist ended in divorce after 100 days. Now Joan Vassos, 61, the beautiful grandmother of three, has applied for the equally historic “The Golden Bachelorette,” with 24 suitors and the renewed promise of true TV love.

Joan is seen bathed in golden light in a shimmering champagne dress in the opening shots of Wednesday’s ABC premiere. She’s great in a fresh start. Joan doesn’t want to talk about the “redemption” season or the pressure of the ordeal at the end of last season. The widow, who lost her husband of 32 years to cancer in 2021, just wants love again.

“Let this journey begin,” says Joan in her SUV on the way to the opening marathon greetings at the Bachelor Mansion. “Bring on the men!”

Here’s who really stood out when getting out of the limos in front of the Bachelor Mansion:

Spoilers for Golden Bachelorette! So stop reading now if you haven’t seen Joan’s latest journey, now streaming on Hulu.

Joan’s first encounters are with an officer and a gentleman

The first two men to step out of the limousines are (in that order) a sophisticated, Paris-born salon owner from Chicago named Pascal, 69, and a fully uniformed retired Navy captain from Seattle named Kim, 69. Power opening.

Pascal is so articulate that the other Golden Bachelor guys even half-joke that he’s faking his French accent to hide a straight-up Chicago accent. (It would be scandalous and awesome if there really was a “golden” fake French accent deception.) Of course, Pascal defuses this absurdity with the perfect laugh before pouncing on Joan for the first time in private, showing off his City of Love skills with “Let Me Swallow You.”

The rest of the boys simply bow down to this audacity. Moments later, Pascal is raving about kidnapping Joan to France with champagne. Très bien. Of course Pascal gets a rose, and so does Kim.

The real Southside Chicagoan Jack does things his way

Jack, 68, a Chicago caterer, proves himself to be the most interesting man in the world this season, beard and all. He wears a flashy pink jacket and croaks “My Way” when he meets Joan. Every line Jack says in his South Chicago accent becomes an instant classic, starting with his announcement as he enters the house: “Did someone say bourbon?” Yet no one accuses him of being a Frenchman faking a South Chicago accent.

Jack is over the moon when he whips up a gourmet meal of beef fillet for Joan and the rest of the crew. In a moment of artificial tension, Joan gives Jack the last rose of the evening. Even the guys want Jack to stay.

Gary could simply be the best for “The Golden Bachelorette”

Without a hint of nervousness, 65-year-old Gary strolls up to Joan, twirls her around in joyful dance steps and tells her, “I’m that guy, Joan.” Whether “that guy” refers to the instant TV star or Joan’s partner or both is yet to be determined. But it’s an electrifying start before Gary shows true emotion and cries over the video greetings from his family that are played for the group. Gary gets his rose before even mentioning that he is the godson of the legendary Tina Turner. He might just be the best.

Mark Anderson doesn’t need that much help with the “Golden Bachelor”

Dear Golden Bachelorette producers: Mark Anderson doesn’t need your help. Internet star “Hot Dad” gets the privilege of Joan’s coveted final limo arrival, a scene that’s already been posted on social media. And Mark’s famous daughter, Bachelor star Kelsey Anderson, jumps out to introduce Joan in person.

Mark, 57, would be a frontrunner without the support of Bachelor Nation’s deep state. He’s genuine, he’s a stud, he’s a star, and he’s completely amused by the term “thirst trap” being thrown at him.

“He’s cute,” Joan whispers to the ever-lurking Kelsey after Dad leaves. “Just call me Mommy.” Too soon, Joan! Everyone stop staring at “Hot Dad” and look around. We still have weeks to go.

Mark gets a rose and confesses on camera that being with Joan is like “putting on a warm sweatsuit straight out of the dryer.” Hmm, let’s go through this, Mark.

Jonathan and Dan are both fascinating mysteries

Jonathan, 64, of Oakland, Iowa, meets Joan wearing a gold sleep mask. Great idea, especially with his male model look. Later, Jonathan recites a memorized poem to Joan. Awesome stuff. He receives an early Joan rose.

With his tousled, still-blond hair and quirky Columbo-esque demeanor, 64-year-old private investigator Dan is just a paper cup of coffee away from his own CBS prime-time series. He’s fun to watch and sincere, even when he nearly has a disaster when he shoots a pickleball past Joan’s face. She ducks. Dan gets his rose anyway.

“Girl Dad” Keith has packed and is ready to take Joan with him in his station wagon

Keith, 62, a self-described “girl dad” of three, made an immediate impression when he arrived in a “cute ride” – a beat-up station wagon with suitcases strapped to the end. Then the 6-foot-5 teddy bear scored again when he played cornhole with Joan, a game she loves. “I can picture him hanging out with my friends,” she says.

Joan gives Keith the precious First Impression rose and the first (chaste) kiss on the lips. “I’m thrilled,” he says later.

Six men didn’t get any roses! Who was eliminated from the “Golden Bachelorette”?

Joan didn’t enjoy handing out the roses. She even gave up after about 10 and ran abruptly out of the room. Host Jesse Palmer was probably scrolling through TikTok in the control room and was like, “What?? GB is moving.” He appeared and gently reassured Joan back in the room. No tears, but she said a stoic goodbye:

Bill, 68, a retired videographer from Portland, Oregon.
Pablo, 63, a retired director of a UN specialized agency from Cambridge, Maryland.
Ken, 60, real estate treasurer from Peabody, Massachusetts.
RJ, 66, a financial advisor from Irvine, California.
David, 68, a rancher from Austin, Texas.
Thomas, 62, fire chief from New York City.

How did “Golden Bachelor” Gerry Turner get into the preview?

Wow, there was a lot going on in this preview of the upcoming season. A strip show called “Full Monty,” a private jet, lots of kissing. Um, Joan says “I love you, Mark” and kisses the “hot dad.” But the highlight is “Golden Bachelor” Gerry Turner stepping out of a limo – tanned, rested, and somehow ready to give love advice.

“Have you considered the possibility that your husband isn’t here?” Turner asks Joan in the preview. It’s going to be a wild ride.