The Bachelorette
Finale / After the last rose
Season 21
Episode 10
Editor’s Rating
Photo: John Fleenor/Disney
Bachelor Nation, dear readers, people who accidentally clicked here while trying to get to the Cinematrix – I have to say something I never, ever, ever wanted to say: I hate that I was right.
I hate that I predicted the history-making finale of SHE-EO Live Laugh Love Self-Care presented by Maybelline. I knew Jenn was going to propose to her Final One. Go back. Watch my first recap of the season. I think my exact words were that she was going to propose to “someone tall.” I’m not sure if Devin is “The Tall One,” but there was a little seashell with a Neil Lane mengagement tape. A Him mengagement tape? I’m sure Neil Lane will pick up the title when this trend sweeps the nation. I knew that Jenn would propose to me, and damn it, I wish I was wrong, because I DON’T WANT THAT. I don’t want that for Jenn, and I certainly don’t want the first proposal a woman makes to end in this mess.
Let us delve into this.
I mean…how do we even break this down? Because after we know Devin tried (and somehow succeeded) in censoring a televised engagement and then hit the clubs with Jeremy, do any of us even care anymore about what he told her mom and brother? And if that didn’t happen right where you are emotionally, what’s it like to be able to fall asleep without the endless chatter of anxiety and abandonment issues running through your head? I bet if I checked your Google history, I wouldn’t find “micro-expressions of boyfriend’s eyebrows + commitment issues.”
And what does all this have to do with Marcus? It was obvious to pretty much every viewer that Marcus was not a viable option for Jenn. My favorite part of the episode was at the very beginning when Jesse said, “So who is Jenn going to choose? Is it going to be Marcus?” and then there was total silence. Yes, that’s the audience. Please get this man off our TVs. The mood is bad. What? happened with the casting? We should give Jenn a second chance. Only cast men whose ex-girlfriends haven’t cheated on them and who have completed a weekend seminar on communication. And more than one East Asian.
I feel disconnected from reality because nothing has come of it. Even Jenn’s big moment when she took control of her life, her story, her love, her voice and proposed to Devin has lost all meaning. If I had to guess why, it’s because Texas 7 Los Angeles 5 gave Devin a taste of the good life and his DMs were just pouring in. And why doesn’t he just follow a few girls on Instagram, including the lead role he was probably cast as?
I guess we get to follow Jenn’s arc through this episode? Maybe? Is that worth it to you? I feel like a substitute teacher after class is interrupted by a fire drill. “Okay, I was planning on us going over the quiz, but there’s not enough time now. Should we just play Heads Up 7 Up?” Well, no, because even if you go through Jenn’s arc, she starts off happy but torn. She leaves the feeling of being torn behind and chooses blissful, and then ends up as the protagonist in an Olivia Rodrigo revenge-based music video. That’s not a satisfying arc for anyone, and it’s even worse emotionally to sit through.
As the episode progresses, we see Jenn close all of the loose ends. She has an emotional moment with her brother about how far she’s come and how she doesn’t want to repeat history. She sits down with Marcus and breaks up with him. although he says he loves her. She is able to recognize an emotionally unavailable man. She wrests some control from him The Bachelorette process to propose! They gave her a little shell! She can love and be loved unconditionally and without fear! Ohhh I wish the episode ended here. Let her show up Dancing with the stars (this is my emotional support TV show and she WILL be on the next season) and let Devin just fade into the background.
What makes Jenn’s story so frustrating in the pantheon of great Bachelorettes who were unattached at the end of their season or shortly after is that Jenn didn’t get a single moment of pure joy in this finale. Tyler Cameron got some time in the hot seat with Hannah Brown and we all felt that sizzling chemistry once again. Pilot Rachel literally ran off the stage with Aven after he asked, “Do you want to get out of here?” Where was that for Jenn? I bet if we all worked together, we could come up with three to five moments of pure joy for Jenn:
1. Place Devin in a plunge pool.
2. Bring a parade of the guys from Thunder from Down Under on stage and she gets to lick one of her abs.
3. Puppies on surfboards. We’d have to go back to Hawaii for this, but I think it’s worth it.
4. Hell, just give her, her mom and her brother a free trip back to Hawaii.
5. Please add a fifth idea in the comments.
But instead, the show made sure to squeeze all the emotional turmoil out of this woman so Jesse could praise her for finding her voice and remind her that she could find love. That was your job, you fucking idiots. Your job isn’t to set Marcus up with Jesse again to remind him that emotions aren’t scary, and he should probably tell Jenn he loves her so you can give an assessment and create the right tension for After the Final Rose. We need a dedicated team member to monitor what those clowns are doing on Instagram, because whatever Devin did led to the demise of Jenn’s happiness.
Okay, we played a few rounds of Heads Up 7 Up and I think there was more time left than I thought. Nobody left a handout for this scenario.
I think there are bigger questions about what this franchise can do to protect its lead actors, and especially its lead actors of color. Because I am SICK that this happened to Jenn, and I am SICK that this happened in the season of the first Asian-American Bachelorette, and the production should feel bad. (Again, get out the huge check – you can’t do better, but Jenn could buy herself a Birkin.) Ironically, Maria (and/or Daisy) rejects the Bachelorette The appearance obviously threw the production into a tailspin after they had put all the men who would be into Maria in the spotlight and they never corrected course. They obviously thought Marcus was a fan favorite and they would put him on a Bachelor Arc, but that’s f***ing fizzled out. It seems like production is still trying to figure out what the audience wants, and there actually seems to be a large portion of the audience that, on paper, looks at someone like Marcus and just sees American flags and is dazzled, but Marcus has been a black hole in terms of charisma this season. And production can’t nail down a polarizing choice like Maria to actually be on the show, so they choose leads who are a little underdeveloped story-wise on reality TV and cast them with chaos around them. And it’s especially insulting when it comes to the leads of color, because it’s like production is saying, “We can’t possibly imagine what their thing is, but I don’t know, we’ll throw a Sam M and a Salmon in there and see what happens.”
So when we finish Jenn’s season, we want her and the audience to have a heartwarming speech from Jesse and… BRING OUT THE GOLDEN BACHELORETTE! I hope that by Grant’s season, they’ll figure out how to tell his story and cast women who are committed to him. They claim to do so, but the sloppy implementation of their announcement does not inspire much confidence.
Okay, that’s the bell! When your teacher asks: We covered everything in the quiz! HAGSKIT!
