Davis Warren: “The standard hasn’t changed” after Michigan’s loss to Texas
Michigan Wolverines quarterback Davis Warren said the “level of the defending national champions has not changed” after losing 31-12 to Texas.
The fourth year of college football report cards kicked off last week with a bang, announcing that there would be pranks and silliness throughout the year.
The same applies to the grading of the last season: only the most spectacular performances are given good grades, and there is no chance of reversing failed performances.
MORE: College football winners and losers in Week 2
Last week’s top marks went to the return of college football, and the bottom marks went to whoever directed Minnesota’s fireworks display after a missed field goal at the end of the game against North Carolina.
Here is the analysis of the second week on the performance of the fans, teams, players and coaches:
Trolling the reigning national champion
Michigan finally won a national championship last season, nearly three decades after last winning a title. Fans wearing maize and blue remind people of that at every opportunity, talking about it ad nauseam like the new season hasn’t started yet, because that will ease the pain of what’s likely to come. This isn’t Georgia, Alabama or any of the other handful of programs that load up on talent like nobody’s business. That’s especially true at the quarterback position.
But it starts with Michigan head coach Sherrone Moore, who for some reason wanted to reassure people about his job status after nine months at the helm.
“I’m committed to Michigan, they’re committed to me. I get paid and I have a contract.” Moore responded to reports that he is working without a signed contract.
I’m glad to hear the checks will be cashed in Ann Arbor, considering the fans are already demanding his job.
The still-undefeated internet couldn’t wait to pounce on the Wolverines’ misfortune after they were chased off their home field by Texas.
For most of the afternoon, various hashtags trending on social media that did not paint a good picture of Michigan: When #cheaters, #orji, #daviswarren and #sharronemoore are mixed in with jokes about “alleged” sign thief Connor Stalions, your day probably hasn’t gone too well.
Day of the winners of the “hail”: F
Christmas in September, Part IV
This space has been used for the past four years to highlight the outrageous spending of athletic departments that are just waiting to give away millions to prove they have the money.
Because Notre Dame seems to want to secure a chance at a playoff spot each year, the football program refuses to join a conference, meaning the team will have to work hard to please the home crowd and plan on facing some less desirable opponents.
Go back to 2022, when the Irish paid Marshall $1.25 million for a trip to South Bend, only to lose 21-26. This time, Northern Illinois will be hoping to make that seven-figure direct deposit in the next 60 days after the Huskies, who were 28-point underdogs, defeated Notre Dame 14-16 for their first top-10 win in school history.
Miami (Ohio) can already look forward to a $1.25 million payday when the team comes to town on September 21st.
It must be the money: A +
They said it
Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney with a description he believes is intended for the media.
“You’re all going to write crap, you’re all going to write terrible things. And if we do something great, you’re all going to write great things. That’s OK.”
The worst and the best of the rest
Mr. Worldwide Pin
Give me everything: A note
Hope the mascot has a NIL deal
Splash, splash: 2.0 by the American judge
Oscar nominations at the beginning of the season
More like Golden Raspberry: F
Kissing on Saturday
Love is a battlefield: A-
Rabbit season
Willie wins: straight to the end
This week’s OBJ tribute
Look, Mom. One hand: A
Oklahoma state flag, not OK
Flag Day Follies: F
Statistics for you
24 – Ole Miss quarterback Jaxson Dart completed multiple passes at once against Middle Tennessee, setting an SEC record.
459 – Rushing yards by Boise State running back Ashton Jeanty through two games
648 – Arkansas offensive yards against Oklahoma State. The Razorbacks still lost in two overtimes 39-31.
1.3 million US dollars – Amount paid by Notre Dame to Northern Illinois
Dog of the week
Western Illinois in Indiana
This beauty needs no words (to submit your pup, send me a picture on social media).
Now to the game:
What can you buy for $450,000 these days?
In New York City, that would buy you a 500-square-foot apartment and leave you with just enough money to buy a pack of Skittles at the corner store.
In the case of Western Illinois, which received that amount to play the youngsters against the Hoosiers in Bloomington, Indiana, it ended in a 77-3 loss and a five-hour bus ride home to ponder what the hell happened in those three hours on Friday night.
To answer that question…well, for Western Illinois, not much.
The Leathernecks have now lost 26 games in a row, which is by far the longest losing streak in Division I. Indiana set school records for most points in a game and total offense with 703 yards.
While the pups took a nap at halftime, here’s hoping the Leathernecks can pull out a win when they play Illinois State next week. The Redbirds have the unfortunate honor of being the last team to lose to Western Illinois, a 38-31 loss on October 30, 2021.
