Hollywood must enjoy torturing me. Don’t they? Don’t they?!?! When I opened my eyes this morning and took my first sip of coffee, the first image I saw was Jason Momoa in a cheap wig and pink leather jacket, like he was out of a deleted scene from Barbie. What horrific chain of events brought this image to my screen today? Well, Momoa is the star of the latest (and certainly not the best) video game adaptation: A Minecraft movie.
In the first trailer for the film, the actor formerly known as Aquaman is seen alongside a three-pack of nonsense. There are disturbingly rectangular sheep, a truly shameful use of The Beatles’ “Magical Mystery Tour” and peak performance in the style of “standing in front of a green screen”. Momoa’s character seems to have been brought into the world of Minecraft alongside Emma Myers (Wednesday), Sebastian Eugene Hansen (Only grace) and Danielle Brooks (The colour purple). Also, Warner Bros. has clearly spent a lot of money to get a mandatory appearance from Jack Black in 2024. He plays Steve, the franchise’s mute main character and the player’s second-in-command. Here, Steve is likely a man trapped in the world of Minecraft who help our characters in their escape attempt.
Despite adjustments that have repeatedly “Oops, I’m trapped in the game!” plot for their movies, it may surprise you that no one has ever been drawn into a video game, Jumanji –style. It honestly baffles me why this trend continues, as if video games didn’t already have stories. You might think that Minecraft—the best-selling video game of all time! – would have changed some of the preconceived notions of some key creatives and C-suite dwellers. After all, the pixelated crafting game has more in common with LEGO sets than action-adventure comedies. And yet, it seems that Generation X still hasn’t evolved its concept of video games… “Jumanji”.
It is easy to see where the confusion began. As in many magical worlds, Minecraft is an oasis of creativity. As Jack Black says in the trailer: “Anything you can dream of in this world, you can do.” I have seen Minecraft Players use their imagination to build entire cities, realistic maps and even a working computer. But in A Minecraft movieit seems as if the characters are trying to find a way with their imagination out of this magical world? Why?! Do you remember the Super Mario Brothers. Mfilm that didn’t feature a single human being and grossed over a billion dollars? No lessons learned.
We will learn what other terrible atrocities await us when A Minecraft movie will be in theaters on April 4, 2025. Maybe that’s enough time for science to find a way to erase these images from my memory.
